Communication Differences Beyond Speech: Listening to Autistic People

A conversation does not have to happen entirely through speech to be a conversation. A person may use words, typing, pictures, gestures, a communication device or a combination of methods. Listening means making room for the person’s message and responding to it, rather than insisting on one preferred way of speaking.

This guide offers practical prompts for friends, families, educators and service staff communicating with autistic people. It does not infer understanding from a person’s speech or prescribe an augmentative and alternative communication system. The starting point is the individual’s established methods, preferences and opportunity to contribute.

Recognise different ways of communicating

ASHA’s public AAC guidance explains that augmentative communication adds to speech and alternative communication can be used instead of speech. Options may include gestures, writing, pictures and electronic tools, with people using different combinations according to their needs.

Do not assume that using speech on one occasion means a person never needs another method. Ask what works for the current conversation. A written response, for example, may be the person’s preferred way to explain a complex issue even when they also speak.

Keep the person in the conversation. If a supporter is present, look toward and address the person receiving the service rather than directing every question to the companion. Ask how the supporter can help and distinguish the individual’s message from someone else’s account.

Make participation the goal

The National Joint Committee’s Communication Bill of Rights emphasises dignity, direct engagement, meaningful choices, expression and access to communication support. It is a professional advocacy framework, not a statement that every item is a separately enforceable legal entitlement in every jurisdiction.

In practice, ask whether the person can influence what happens. Can they ask a question, disagree, change their mind or bring up a different topic? A system that only lets someone choose between two adult-selected items may leave many important messages unavailable.

Acknowledge a response even when the requested outcome is not possible. Explain what can happen and provide a way to continue the discussion. Silence or refusal to respond to a communication attempt can exclude someone just as effectively as the absence of a device.

Agree useful conversation arrangements

These prompts are options, not a script to administer before every ordinary chat. A familiar friend may already know the preferences. A new service may need a concise communication note, agreed with the person, so that staff do not repeatedly ask them to explain the same access needs.

Give time and check understanding

Ask one manageable question and allow the person to formulate a response. Avoid repeatedly rephrasing while they are still composing a message. If you are unsure whether to wait or clarify, ask through the method they use.

When meaning is unclear, say what you understood and invite correction. Do not pretend to understand to make the interaction seem smooth. Equally, avoid turning every message into a test in which the person must prove that they meant it.

Distinguish an observation from an interpretation. “They moved the object away” is something you saw; “they dislike everyone here” is an explanation you may not know. Ask what the action means in context and use professional communication support when needed, particularly for important decisions.

Keep tools usable and get appropriate support

ASHA describes speech-language pathologists helping identify suitable AAC, adapt it to physical needs and support communication partners. Its guidance also makes clear that tools need to fit the individual. A device chosen because it worked for someone else is not automatically the right arrangement.

Ask where the person’s tool will be during the actual activity, how it is accessed and what happens if it is unavailable. If a backup method is part of the person’s plan, make sure relevant people know how to use it. Do not remove communication access as a reward, punishment or condition of participation.

If physical access is difficult, ask a speech-language pathologist how the person can use an appropriate communication method. Agree what assistance is needed and how communication partners should provide it. Keep the person’s choices central rather than selecting messages for them.

Prepare appointments and services

NICE’s public guidance for autistic adults describes asking how assessment results should be explained and considering communication and sensory needs. This is UK guidance; local service arrangements must be checked directly.

Before an important appointment, ask how the person can contribute and receive an understandable summary. Agree what role any supporter will have, what information can be shared and whether written questions can be sent beforehand. Keep the discussion about access rather than demanding that the person demonstrate a particular communication style.

In a fictional example, Mira uses a tablet and typing while visiting a community centre. Staff speak to Mira, wait while a message is prepared and confirm the selected activity. A companion helps locate the correct room but does not answer preference questions on Mira’s behalf.

Include ordinary social life

Communication is more than completing forms or obtaining food and assistance. Make room for humour, interests, stories, disagreement and spontaneous conversation. Ask whether the person has the vocabulary and opportunities needed for the topics they care about.

Do not publish someone’s messages, images or communication examples without appropriate permission. A useful teaching example can often be fictional. Respect also includes allowing someone not to answer, not to explain their diagnosis or not to participate in a conversation at that moment.

Common questions